Google's New Quantum Computer Is Not a Risk To Bitcoin ...

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Here goes. This is all for jokes, if you have a better description or one is missing, just comment and I'll add it in ;)
Edit: Fuck formatting a list this long
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03-15 17:13 - 'The day the banks got a quantum computer.' (self.Bitcoin) by /u/Serialnvestor removed from /r/Bitcoin within 11-21min

the day was like any other. I got up, got dressed, showered and then I went to work. I checked the btc price as I booted up my laptop and went to write a bit of angular code for an antiquated page that wouldn't work without angular.
I sighed. I went to check the btc balance... and wtf. That couldn't be right. There was simply no trading activity on bittrex. That was confusing. Bittrex was down, binance was not allowing logins, kucoin was saying that btc was "suspended" Well that was not good. I went to my old coinbase account, and tried to buy bitcoin. Coinbase wasn't selling. Gdax trading had stopped.
Well... shit. Time to look at the blockchain itself. I popped open block explorer, and I was horrified. There were millions of transactions that had all been triggered. The mempool was swamped. And every single transaction was sending the entire contents of their wallet to one of the btc eater addresses. The entire money supply of bitcoin had been... burned.
I sat back in horror. I searched the blockchain for my wallet. My measly hoard of 10.5 btc had also been burned. I now had... no money. This.... was bad.
I told my boss I was feeling ill, went to my bank, got my private key, booted up my bitcoin core wallet and looked at my balance. 0btc. This was... pretty terrible.
I turned on the television a month later. Apparently, wells fargo had bought a supercomputer from the nsa, because the nsa was broke, because their director had gotten into a fight with trump in 2021 over russian soldiers on us soil, and trump had gotten their funding reduced to zero dollars. So they had sold a quantum computer to wells fargo. Wells fargo had turned around and used that supercomputer to calculate the private keys of every bitcoin wallet in existence and then.... shut the network down. Burned it with fire. Boom. Gone.
They had gone through not just bitcoin but through thousands of alt coins.
There were only a few surviving cryptocurrencies that had survived the fiery attack by the banksters. Those were the quantum immune cryptocurrencies. They had changed their PoW algorithm, or they signed their addresses differently, or they used one time signatures.
There were congressional hearings, and several people went to jail, wells fargo disavowed use of a quantum device to destroy bitcoin but they were found out.
That was the day that bitcoin had a fork to bitcoin-q. It was a non contentious fork, but that was only the beginning of bitcoin's woes. People had lost faith in btc, and another crypto had risen to take its place in marketcap and individual coin price. It had been a small and insignificant alt before the quantum attack. It had been worth less than $5 before the quantum hack. Now, it was worth well over $5000 (in rubles). It had STOLEN btc's value.
And that all happened because on a forum post in 2018, 3 years before the btc hack went down, a lone cryptographer on the btc forums on reddit who was yelling at other redditors about the need for a quantum secure blockchain protocol had been ignored and the users had gone on without realizing the absolute horrifying quantum danger the good ship btc was sailing into...
We need to implement quantum secure wallets or some other method to prevent quantum attacks. This needs to have happened yesterday, because soon a quantum computer will emerge. And then a malicious person will get their hands on it. And they will use the quantum computer to steal bitcoin, burn the system down, or launch 51% attacks. Quantum is an emerging threat that can kill bitcoin in an instant if we don't fix the quantum loopholes in the blockchain's armor. So get off your thumbs, tweet to the devs, write proposals, write code and lets get to work implementing a patch of some sort.
The day the banks got a quantum computer.
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Author: Serialnvestor
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NSA Working To Develop Quantum-Resistant Cryptocurrency: Report (#GotBitcoin?) The United States’ National Security Agency (NSA) is allegedly working to develop a quantum-resistant cryptocurrency. The claim was made in a tweet by Bloomberg Technology reporter William Turton on Sept. 4, who was in attendance at the Billington CyberSecurity 10th annual summit in Washington D.C. The decentralized exchange (dex) built on Ethereum, Uniswap has accumulated a whopping $2 billion in total value locked (TVL) this week. Tuesday’s data shows out of all the dece The CTO at Ripple, David Schwartz has stated the reason why quantum computing is a risk to the future of Bitcoin, XRP, and cryptocurrencies at large. David Schwartz shared this thought on the Modern CTO Podcast. There, he stated that the cryptographic algorithms that secure digital currencies such as Bitcoin (BTC), Ripple’s XRP, and others […] The U. S. National Security Agency (NSA) was recently reported to be attempting to create its own quantum computer. In this case, crypto's would be far more endangered than if Google did it, but it is still hard to confirm that this technology can or will be a threat any time soon. Schwartz predicts that quantum computer systems will begin to develop into an issue inside the subsequent 10 years. In a chapter of the Trendy CTO podcast, Ripple’s CTO, David Schwartz, expressed considerations in regards to the improvement of quantum computer systems. Ripple’s CTO believes this expertise is a risk to the safety of Bitcoin ... While the transistors of classical computer processors operate with bits, which encode either a zero or a one, quantum computers use so-called quantum bits, or qubits. The latter can encode a zero and a one into two different states as well as leverage their “superposition” and “entanglement.” In other words, qubits allow for a huge number of calculations to be carried out simultaneously. The National Security Agency of the United States (NSA) is apparently working on developing a cryptocurrency which will be quantum resistant. As a claim made in a tweet by Bloomberg Technology showed, NSA is building a new cryptocurrency which will shake things up in the crypto industry.. The tweet was originally made by the reporter William Turton on September 4, who was present at the ... How To Secure Your Bitcoin Wallet - 14th October 2020; What You Need To Know About Bitcoin - 14th October 2020; Why should you Choose A Hardware Bitcoin Wallet Over A Web Wallet? - 13th October 2020 With Halving Having Passed, Is Now The Time To Buy Bitcoin? - 12th October 2020 Augur Price Hits New One Year High After V2 Release - 10th August 2020; Press Release: Synergy of Serra – New Cargo ... This has lead to controversy between Bitcoin and Google’s Quantum Supremacy that continued in a twitter discussion dated on 24 September. When ex-Bitcoin developer Peter Todd led the criticism of Google achieving its Quantum supremacy. As per the claims made in the Financial Times, the proposed computer can solve an equation that may generally take 10,000 years to solve in just 3 minutes 20 ... Back in 2015, the NSA said that it planned to move its National Security Systems to post-quantum public key cryptography. In the past few years, the U.S. agency has collaborated with industry leaders to make sure that it has enough quantum-resistant algorithms ready to protect the security systems of the U.S.

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